Just Me

Home alone....no one asking me for anything....

No one telling me they need something, for me to do something, take them somewhere, buy them something that they "have to have now"

No one complaining about not getting something or especially, telling me I'm not doing something for them.....no one slamming doors, rolling eyes, staring at me with blank faces wondering when my mouth is going to stop moving.....no one wrestling, screaming, yelling, shouting....no music blaring, no banging of a mini basketball in a hoop and pretending a play of a real game....no hitting, head-locking, tumbling down the stairs....no sneaking into the kitchen waiting to get caught...no reminding for the 10th time to pick up the shoes or take out the trash....no asking me, begging me, crying to me, arguing with me.....

None of it....because this weekend...I was alone...alone...alone

In the quiet...with my own thoughts that I could complete without being interrupted....with my own time schedule that I could decide when and if to get up.....with a clean kitchen that stayed clean the WHOLE weekend.....and with no noise..at all

To say that it was heaven, is a huge understatement....it was bliss...a silky cloud that I wanted to feel caress my skin continually...a warmth in my soul that I wished never to end....

I found myself actually hearing the conversations in my head with myself! Asking questions in my head and answering them out loud! Thank God there are no cameras in my house or I'm sure I would be placed under medical observation! But I don't care...I was finally enjoying peace...in the real sense...a feeling of having control over my time, my choices, my life..even if it was for only a few days.

There is a feeling that comes over a woman when she has no one else around to take care of other than herself.....a feeling of ease, of centeredness, of peace...

Ok, maybe I can only describe myself here because there are probably people reading this and only thinking that if they had a whole weekend to themselves, they would go insane trying to find something to occupy their time, or worse, come up with every little thing to do that they had been wanting to accomplish or finish. But that was not me.

No, although at times I caught myself multi-tasking and wanting to busy myself with things that I knew needed to be done...in those moments, I stopped, reassuring myself that things would eventually make their way to getting done, but that this was an opportunity that I needed to let myself bask in...I needed to make myself be in the full moment of doing nothing...at all....really

And so my weekend of no children, no man, no dog....just me...was filled with laying in bed...making coffee and breakfast and taking it to bed....watching movies that I had wanted to see, in a row, with no interruptions! Reading my books...eating when I felt like it....not even turning on the lights for 3 days straight!! Yep...heaven!

I don't know when the time will ever come again that I get such a gift, but I can tell you, this was probably the most enjoyable weekend I have ever had!!