Thursday, March 10, 2011

The Real Housewives of Blogging

They’re fabulous, yet frugal…….they’re crafty and creative…….they’re bold and opinionated……..and most of all, they live in a world that can be accessed as quick as you can open your laptop!

Welcome to Blogland!

This is a world, a life, that one (like myself) finds intriguing and attractive.

This life, this blog life, captivates me because of the wonders that it offers, the mesmerizing possibilities of things that can be: better – easier – richer – fuller –

See, this world sucks you in with the problem-solving capabilities like nothing you have ever experienced before.

Women, from all over the world, can be your friend, your mentor, your supporter, even your mother! They gladly give you advice, tips, clues, and solutions to any problem you will ever encounter and maybe, even a few solutions to problems you didn’t even consider trouble!

Imagine! A world where you can do it all! A world where you don’t even have to think because it’s already done for you!

There are lists and forms and planners that the most intelligent of women have taken their time to put together for you so that you can be more organized and more efficient – and they give it to you FREELY. Then, there are more women that can show you how to take those lists and expand them in order to organize your children, your husband, even your pets! These women, also show you the latest and greatest of tools and supplies that you can use to organize every closet, pantry, drawer and shelf of your house! They will tell you exactly what to do with all of the clutter in your house – your garage – your attic – maybe even your in-laws!!

Then, when you’re done with each nook and cranny of your house (and you’ve made sure to comment on all of the organizing blog entries to make sure you’re giving lots and lots of comment “luv”), you can begin to enter the world of blogging women that craft, create, and explore every possible hobby that will help you and your home stand out from the rest of your neighborhood! (not that anyone in the neighborhood would be coming to look at your clean, organized, crafty home because who has time to have face-to-face conversations with people, let alone invite them over?? Forget it!)

Living in blogland, you will also learn to take lots and lots and lots of PICTURES (especially to post on that silent? Quiet? Sleepy? Day of the week in blogland where everyone justs posts pictures – no words).

You will be taught how to use everyday stuff (not my everyday stuff cuz that would amount to a few paperclips and rubberbands – but someone else’s everyday stuff!) and create seasonal masterpieces to show off to friends and family (pretending they are coming over, of course), unique and fun games to play with your children – in between the organized lessons, while taking pictures of them (or photoshop them) having the most fun and exciting time……so you can link to the world’s greatest mom blogs.

You will also learn how to manage – money, kids, husband, parents, friends – anyone in your life that needs controlling (everyone, right??) so you can have order and stability and no one sees you going ballistic (after all, that’s not what blogland ladies do) But if there ever is a time that you just have to let it all out, screaming, shouting, using those “ugly words” (seem to come right out of me so quickly!), there are women out in the blogland that can help you and give you advice.

These women can interrupt your babbling and boo-hooing in such a way that you may even start to believe you’ve actually been in your therapist’s office, laying on her couch – but this way you don’t have to pay!!

And the best part? You can hop onto another blogroll and in no time at all, you are the one giving the advice! Imagine! Pretty soon, you might begin to convince yourself that all of this time and effort you’re giving might result in an actual degree!

Don’t know which blog that comes from, but when I find out, I will make sure to tweet it, facebook wall it, link it, share it, and of course – take a picture of it!

You see…….once you have entered this dreamland of blogging, you will never want to come out of your room or off of the couch… just sucks you in! And you don’t want to leave! Because then, who will tell you what to make for dinner? Or where the specials are to get the best deal on detergent? Or what contest to enter today in order to maybe win a family vacation? Who will tell you what to do with the teenager that is screaming at you? Or what to do with the dog that just ate half of your shoe? Who is going to tell you how to get the grape juice out of the new rug? Who is going to ask you to join their vlog (video blog….c’mon, get on board already!!) and chat with other women about the newest Hollywood star that is on drugs…..Who?

Well, ladies of blogland, the truth is…..very few……that’s who.

In dreamland blogland, every woman is the possibility of a connection – a bond – a sense of togetherness that is like living among the best, brightest, and most talented…all behind this 13 in. monitor! ( I know, I’m getting a bigger one as soon as I’m told where the next special is!!)

Could I live here? Yes……absolutely……if I didn’t have to actually get up and buy those groceries with those amazing coupons, and cook that dinner in the DIY remodeled kitchen that only happens if you actually do it……I could live in blogland full time without a blink of an eye…….if I didn’t have those rugrats that are running around (with the lists that I printed out) yelling at eachother (in complete sentences, now) about who’s turn it is to play the game we made using ideas and directions from a woman in Australia……yep, I could live here

If it weren’t for reality…….that’s where you could find me…….as a Real Housewife of Blogging

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