Well, it's time......to be honest with myself.....to be honest with those around me......it's been a long time coming, to look inside and truly evaluate what I know of myself.....how I have come to this place in my life..........
We can only keep going on until one day.....we hit bottom! We tell ourselves that we just can't keep pretending anymore!
So, here I go:
Hello, My name is Candace and I am a Mommy Guilt-oholic! There, I said it!!
And you thought the worst, didn't you??
Anyway, it's time for me to take the plunge and rehab myself out of the self-loathing, the self-criticism, the self-pity of seeing everything I do as a mom as terrible, scarring and irreversibly degrading to my children.
So I choose to stand in front of you as a recovering guilt-aholic who is determined to fight against my insanely neurotic self and begin to focus on the every day occurrences where
I AM A GREAT MOM! GO ME!!!
Case in point:
As some of you know, our family life has recently been turned upside down as Terry began working out in Shreveport, Louisiana leaving me with the single parenting job of 4. And as many of you have read from previous posts of this lingering reality, I haven't had the best attitude about the situation.....which in turn, as always does with me, finds itself into my attitude with the kids.
(STEP AWAY FROM THE GUILT!!)....getting there
Anywho.......so in Shreveport, the apartment has a pool, which is great for the kids and me to try and simply relax.
Well the other day, I decided to return to my love of reading Kris Radish's books (absolutely love her writing voice!!) and thought I would enjoy getting some sun and some reading for a bit by the pool. Meanwhile, TJ and JR thought they would break themselves away from the X-Box (amazing concept!) long enough to come out to the pool.
Here I am, enjoying my reading, enjoying the sun, enjoying being the only few people at the pool....and I look over to find the boys playing....
Lo and Behold......a thought comes over me.....which in my usual manner would be dismissed in my selfish need for "me" time.....but nonetheless, I thought: I'll go have some fun with the boys and take advantage of the time when I only have the 2 of them.....
(just letting you know.....i'm having many guilty, mom-bashing thoughts right now, and just thought I would share that since this is my rehab time)
So, I ended up playing water volleyball with them for at least 1/2 hour (It should have been more, right....STOP IT!)
And in the end, we had a great mom/boys' time......and I am very proud of myself!
So, ends today's rehab session......
I would like to thank B in Real Life, for inspiring all of us to enter this rehab process, to free ourselves from the guilt we bear on our mom-shoulders each and every day!
Till next time....
I'm thinking I may need a sponsor to help my recovery!