On Which Road?

 

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No, I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life! OK??

I feel as if my life has taken on multiple paths, all going in different directions, waiting for one of them to become solid and that has not happened yet...

Those all too familiar questions keep popping up: Am I doing the right thing? Did I make a mistake giving up my career? Do I want to continue as a business owner solo now that my partner is not here full-time? Do I need to take classes to become more knowledgeable and secure in managing a business? Will I like it if I do? Should I wait so we can dig ourselves out of this debt from unemployment and a 2-year run at a new business?

I DON’T KNOW!!

The fog is still here and I don’t see it being lifted anytime soon.

So in the mean time, I’m at home, hearing questions from my children like: Why aren’t you teaching anymore? Don’t you like teaching? What do you do all day mom?

SIT ON THE COUCH, EAT EVERYTHING IN SIGHT, AND PLAY ON THE COMPUTER ALL DAY – OK???

But really,

I am enjoying the ability to be a Stay-at-home-mom. I like being home when my kids get home because at their ages, there is a lot of homework, projects, and tests. I like being able to run to the school if one of them has forgotten something……..being able to save them from embarrassment or disappointment ( I KNOW….we can’t save them all of the time, they have to learn to live with it…but if I can make them happy in some little way, that gives me some motherly pride!).

I have enjoyed volunteering at all of the schools – elementary library assistant, middle school chaperone, high school VIPS hospitality chair – because it enables me to use all of the skills and knowledge from teaching and support from behind-the-scenes.

See, I’ve been in the hot-seat of classroom teacher and I know what it takes to get the job done in the midst of politics, very little money, and pressure from all sides. So I figure, if I can make the schools my children attend a little better by giving of my time, money and effort, then maybe I am doing something right during this tumultuous period in my life.

Although I find it interesting, that my kids ask why I’m not working, but then never hesitate to ask if I can bring them lunch or remind me of things I need to bring for their classroom...hmmm...

So, here I sit...blogging...on my computer...calendar and to-do list in front of me...as I wonder, once again, WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE??

This Computer Will NOT Beat Me!

 
Ok....I'm getting to it....one more minute....really!
These are my famous words as of lately....having too much to do, can't get focused, so I end up doing a little bit of everything and then collapsing in bed feeling as if I have gotten nothing done for 2 weeks! Ugh!

Yes, another rambling! But when I feel pulled in so many directions and none of those roads show light at the end? Well then there has to be time for me to expel all of these frustrations....right onto the page....right?
As you have noticed, I haven't done anything on my blog for about 2 weeks and my kids have complained to me for these 2 weeks that I haven't left my computer! I'm sorry!! It's just that when I am trying to redesign a website, trying to keep 2 businesses up and running with very little cash, trying to stay on top of the day-to-day family stuff, and not go insane...I tend to lose myself very easily.

Being somewhat new to the technical side of website design (I'd rather just put the pretty pictures and cute stuff on), it is proving to be a very big learning curve for me....and being the perfectionist that I am, I can't seem to leave it alone unless I feel in some way I have made considerable progress. It seems to take such a considerable amount of time to accomplish even the smallest task because I have to learn how to do so much. Computers exhaust me! Especially when I try to get help from these "techy" people and they speak a different language!! SPEAK ENGLISH! It takes me 4 hours to figure out how to change a page layout because I have to read what everything means, which takes me on this path of discovery that I didn't know existed only to snap myself out of this concentrated coma and realize that I haven't done anything in the past 2 hours but read how some guy tried a million different types of codes to change his style of font!! UGH!
Needless to say, I am feeling a bit frustrated with my lack of productivity. I am not one to give up easily, especially when it comes to figuring something out. So at the pit of my frustration last night, Terry turns to me, amidst my dramatic exhaustion, and encouragingly tells me that he would have given up a week ago and thinks that I have great persistence......yeah, me! Such small words of inspiration at just the right time! Exactly what I needed to hear to bolster my confidence once again. After all, I am not a quitter, I am not one to just give up, I love a challenge like this...I can prove that I can conquer this...I feel elated to "master" a task and have something to show for it in the end. So to say that a computer, a program, a technical difficulty has beaten me? No way!! Just give me 24 straight hours and I'll show you! Ha Ha!

So where am I this morning? Back in front of the computer!
And hopefully through my focus and determination, I can prove to be the creative and hard-working woman I know I truly am!

Career Changes = Life Changes

So if the statistic still stands that a person will change careers two to three times during their lifetime, what does it mean if you go over that amount? Really, I think you can look at it in two different ways, either each career change comes about as we get older our passions change or something comes along that peaks our interest and we find it curious enough to take a stab at it full time...or there is something about us that causes us to lose interest, become bored with the status quo and after a certain amount of time, we just give up.
My career choice of being a teacher and hoping to inspire the young minds around me was a very comfortable choice for me. It was something that came very easily to me and fit with my personality quite well. That is.......until about three years ago where I found myself becoming disappointed in myself that I had slowly stopped expecting more from me. Not because of the job I was doing but because of the non chalante way that I was living my life. Maybe passing into my thirties gave me a different look on my life, maybe it was going through a major roadblock in my life and getting a divorce, maybe it was looking back at my 11 years of teaching and wondering what I had really accomplished in my life. No, I'm not dramatic at all! LOL!
Teaching was a profession that enabled me to keep learning and using my creativity. But I found that the more I taught, the less patience I had for dealing with the politics that came with the job. I am not the person that can sit and listen to problems and complaints and then walk away and ignore it. I want to see change happen. I want to see problems solved. Yet year after year I came to the realization that all of the problems with public education were going to continue to be talked and argued about but never going to cross into actual problem solving.
Maybe I took it too much to heart or I just got fed up. Or both.
So business owner I became.....ugh!! Talk about life lessons giving you a slap in the face!!
It is sooooo much easier said than done to start a business :)
But here we are, a year later..........working to keep our heads above water, trying to make good decisions that will benefit us later on.

A positive thought to leave with:
a lunch cafe soon opening up
our very own catering truck - decked out
the start of a non-profit organization to truly benefit troubled youth
and an outlet for my creativity - party/event planning

Ready or not here we go!!