Thursday, November 4, 2010
Ever feel like you’d like to carry parts of your past into your present? Or stop yourself mid-action because it just came straight out of your childhood? Well that sort of thing happens to me a lot, especially when I’m starting a mind-numbing task like cleaning (!!) or actually the lack of it! Hah!
I caught myself just this morning, walking into the bathroom, getting ready, and then right before walking out, found myself looking back at the clutter on my bathroom sink and thinking (13-year old thoughts) – Mom will put that stuff away! WHAT?? WHERE DID THAT COME FROM??
My mother used to pick up after me constantly and I only say that because I don’t know of one instance (suppressed memories) of when my mother was bugging me to pick up things. Now I’m sure it happened and I’m sure she was pulling her hair out as much as I do (daily) but I always remember her cleaning, having order in the house, making sure things were kept up so when anyone would stop by, she would be ready.
I also know that she picked up after me on a regular basis because I still find myself dropping things in one place or another and thinking for a split second, “someone else will take care of that, or clean that dish, or put that away” REALLY! NO JOKE! It’s like my mental state goes right back to the “good ole days” when I had someone (mom) following me around (or at least my stuff) and making everything nice, clean, organized, and sparkly! Now I seem to be looking behind me, thinking that someone will be nice and kind enough to see that there is a mess and then politely clean it up without my need to say anything!
I know, I’m not basing this argument in reality, and no, I haven’t taken any happy pills to help me imagine such a place, although feel free to share, seeing as I need to go there quite often!
I am not what you would describe as having the need to be constantly cleaning. Some days I wish I had some form of OCD (Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder…skipped me!) so that I would actually WANT to get down on my hands and knees to scrub the little rubber connections on the refrigerator door or organize each and every closet, cupboard, and drawer….WITH labels!!. I think that would be a gift! Something that would actually save me money, seeing as how I love to spend my time doing other things (building my business, writing, volunteering, exercising) in a clean house.
See, I’m one of those people that although I would much rather be doing something else, I can’t concentrate unless my house is at least tidy. Even now, I’m having quite a hard time focusing on my words because my eyes keep getting distracted by the books, papers, backpacks, and cups that have begun to litter my living room….dragged in by the mess makers of my house coming home from school.
So I’m left with the only alternative to this chaos, and that is….to clean (UGH!), not super-anti-bacterial-scrub-the-floor-type of cleaning….because that would be too Suzy-homeaker-of me…and then what would I have left to complain about…oh yea, my CHILDREN….so to cleaning (or should I say straightening) I go..now if only I could find my mom!