Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Mom of a Teenager

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I would like to think that as women we are all bonded by a substantial amount of commonalities. Although we may have different experiences and backgrounds, we each can connect with one another on a variety of issues. Which brings me to the topic of motherhood. But specifically, the topic of being a mother of a teenager, which seems to be a topic that resurrects a great deal of opinions and ideas from every person - parent or not :)
Anytime you would like to start a debate or encourage very interesting conversation, you simply need to announce that you are the mother of a 14-year old girl. And watch the sparks fly across each person's face as the unimaginable memories are born again or the astonishing reality of a chaotic future lays before them!
I once told God that He needed to come back and take me home before my daughters became teenagers because there was no way I was going to survive. Maybe that was my ability to see the future with a teenage girl or maybe that was the fear I was feeling from all of the "hopeful" stories that I was bombarded with. Ever wonder why people automatically say "Oh yeah, I remember those days with a teenager in the house, but I survived!" Survived??? That's what I was left to figure out. That somehow this time in my life is going to need to be survived??
Now I can not say that I have had major issues with my Sam. She has always been the one that I can count on to be emotionally sensitive to others around her, which I incredibly adore. Even at age 5, I remember an airplane ride where I took out one of her many favorite books and began reading it to her. In this particular story, the little bunny kept doing things wrong and messing things up and all of his brothers and sisters were getting very upset with him. When finally his mom comes into the room, points his finger at him, and says he is a very bad bunny! Well that was it, Sam lost it! Tears started running down her cheeks and I asked her why she was crying. She looked up at me and said "He's not a bad bunny! He just didn't know how to do those things!" My heart stopped! I felt so intrigued that she would take that story to heart so deeply and become so enthralled with it even when she had heard that story hundreds of times and knew the happy ending to come. I felt so connected to my little girl knowing that she was incredibly empathetic to others, even if if was just a story.
And to this day, Sam is uncharacteristically empathetic, and I LOVE THAT!
Back to the point, though, Sam has not (thankfully) made any life-threatening "teenage" decisions as of yet. But there has been many a time where I literally have to get up and excuse myself to the bathroom, simply to sit quietly and re-center before I feel myself going insane.
I feel as though the teenage years are so closely related to the two-year old stage. When you see glazed over faces of mothers being dragged around by a screaming 2-year old in a different direction every 5 minutes and all you can simply do is smile, nod, turn around and thank God you are no longer at that stage with your kids! Teenage time is not much different. I find myself bombarded by this girl/young woman screaming one second, crying the next and finally giving me some sarcastic remark that comes out of her mouth before she has realized who she just said that to!
Is this for real? What planet am I on? How is it possible to see your little girl that you just adore turn into a person that you doubt you have any ability to guide into adulthood?
Now I've worked myself up! Time to be done for the day, but believe me, there will be more on this topic........after all, I'm a mom of a teenager!!

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